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Radio Diaries: Wisdom of Bibs

I am lunching at a restaurant with a friend.  When her food arrives, she matter-of-factly tucks a paper napkin into the neck of her sweater.

“You’re smart,” I say.

“I’ve learned my lesson,” she says.

And I glance down at my own sweater, noticing remnants of previous meals here and there.  Why is it, I wonder, that only babies wear bibs and adults eating lobsters?

Somewhere along the way we decided that grown-ups were people who never drop food down the front of their shirts when clearly they do.  Soup and salad and coffee and wine, if my own clothes are any evidence.

So maybe it’s time to step away from this fantasy of neatness and claim our right to equal protection under the bib.  And if restaurants don’t provide them, we can bring our own—fashion statements that unfurl from little pouches and drape stylishly from chin to table.

Why, it might even bring us together.  Under all our differences, we’re just human animals learning to use a knife and fork.  Misjudging the distance from plate to mouth.

Perhaps we need to start each meal with a measure of forgiveness and forbearance.

Also, with a bib.